How do you talk to your grown daughter about her weight without ruining your relationship with her? It is hard to talk to anyone about their weight gain. It feels more sensitive when it is your child though as you spend their whole life trying to protect them. You want to protect their feelings but you also want to protect their health.
READ: How to get along with your adult daughter
In this article, we will talk about how to tell your grown daughter that she has gained too much weight. We will consider a few of the possible reasons why she has gained so much weight. We will also look at a few ways to motivate her to get to a healthy weight.
To start with, what might be the reason why your grown up daughter has gained weight?
5 Reasons why your daughter is gaining so much weight
Honestly, this should be the basis of your little discussion with her. Get to the root of the problem. You can always take guesses. Particularly if you are very close to her and know most details of her life, you might be able to hazard a guess.
The important thing is to get her own opinion on why it is happening.
If neither of you have any idea, run through this list of options to see if one or more of them may be to blame.
- Declining diet quality. Has your daughter started to eat a poor diet? Is she eating more junk and less fresh food because she has less time on her hands?
- Depression. Is it possible that your mental health is declining and that is making an impact on her physical health? She might be so emotionally imbalanced that she is unable to properly monitor her physical health.
- Less sleep. The less sleep your daughter gets, the more likely it is that she will be taking in more calories. It will be harder for her to make good decisions about her food intake when she is running low on sleep.
- Lower metabolism. Has her metabolism fallen drastically? As we get older, it is not unusual – unless conscious steps are taken – for our bodies to take a longer time to process food or burn calories.
- Reduced activity. Has your grown daughter become far less active? Is she in a job where she is sitting all day instead of moving around a lot?
If you want to talk to your grown daughter about her weight gain, it might be helpful to consider why it is happening in the first place.
Should I talk to my daughter about her weight?
If you believe that your daughter’s weight is starting to cause health problems, yes. You should absolutely talk to your adult daughter about her weight. If you do not, it is possible that no one else will. Or someone else will speak to her about it for the first time in a way that creates a negative relationship between herself and her body.
Hearing about a weight problem from a family member can sting the hardest for some people because it could be coming from people you are the closest to.
The focus for you should be how you tell her that you think she is gaining too much weight.
6 Steps to telling your grown up daughter that she is overweight
- Make sure you are alone. There is no need to talk about this in front of other people. Not even other family members. Your daughter might find it too embarrassing.
- Make sure you have her full attention. Choose a time when she is not rushing around trying to organise anything. Or a time when there are any other kinds of distractions around her. She needs to be able to hear you.
- Focus on her health. Not her appearance. Make sure she understands that you are worried about her health. This is not about her looks. She is your daughter – she will always be beautiful to you at any weight. The issue here is ensuring that she is in good health.
- Put yourself in their shoes. Think about how you would like someone to approach you about your weight if it were you. How gentle would you like them to be?
- Make it short and sweet. No need to make it a long and drawn out affair. Keep it to under ten minutes maximum unless she wants to speak more about it.
- Offer your support. Let her know that you are in her corner and ready to help her in any way she thinks she might need your help.
Your daughter might need your help in the form of motivation. Whether she directly asks for it or not. Here are some ways you can motivate your daughter to lose weight.
How do I motivate my daughter to lose weight?
- Champion any steps she starts to take. If she tells you about anything she is doing to shed the weight and get to a healthier place, let her know you are proud of her. Often.
- Join her. Is she going walking to help her lose weight? If you live close enough to her and think she might enjoy your company, offer to go with her sometimes. It’s a great way to bond too!
- Do not monitor anything about her weight loss journey. She will only find you overbearing if you try to take over her weight loss journey in any way. Allow her to ask you for your help if she needs it. Do not take it upon yourself to monitor her progress.
If you are about to speak with your grown daughter about her weight and you are coming from a place of love, it is unlikely to go badly. Follow the six steps above and prepare to step back after it is done. Do not push the issue.
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Interesting suggestions about tackling over weight in the family. Its difficult coping with comments of other family members. It hurts seeing her this way.
I’m sorry the situation is hurting you so much, Jane. Should you decide to speak to her about it, I’m sure that knowing you want the best for her will motivate her to make a change.