You’re at the dinner table and your kids are all speaking at once. Your husband is asking you a question. So is your daughter. You need to cut your son’s chicken. The doorbell rings. All you want is to crawl under the table. You are an overstimulated mom.

It is true that there are some people who thrive in chaos. Those types of people work well under pressure and with the knowledge that they have about six different balls all up in the air that they need to juggle. However, others do not.

Related: Benefits of being an introverted mommy

If you are a mom who is feeling this way, know that you are not alone. Moms get overstimulated at times. Finding balance as an overstimulated mom is difficult and can seem unachievable.

In this article, we will discuss some of the ways to deal with the overstimulation that you are feeling right now and some of the reasons for it.

First though, who is an overstimulated mom?

What does it mean to be an overstimulated mom?

Overstimulation may be defined as when cognitive demands exceed mental resources. Therefore in the case of an overstimulated mom, she gets into a space where the pressure on her mental capacity is more than she is able to cope with.

3 Ways to know if you are overstimulated

When you are overstimulated, you will feel like two or more of your senses are being used at the same time and to a great extent. For example, the lights in your dining room suddenly seem far too bright and your kids talking seems particularly too loud. All at the same time. It is essentially sensory overload. 

overstimulated mom symptoms
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Here are three ways to identify overstimulation in yourself or other moms. 

  1. Highly irritable

You find yourself irritated by the smallest things and are sometimes unable to pinpoint why you are so annoyed. Your irritation can sometimes escalate to outright anger. 

Related: Signs of parental burnout 

  1. Inability to focus

Try as you might, it is hard for you to focus on specific people and things in your environment. From sounds to objects, you find it difficult to zoom in on one thing only and can sometimes feel a little confused. 

  1. Insomnia

When night time comes, a million different thoughts run through your head and you struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep. 

Is it normal to get overstimulated?

It is not at all strange to get overstimulated as a mother. Every mom can feel that way. 

Overstimulation is not restricted to highly sensitive moms or to introverted moms, for example. It is really about learning what tools you need to help you cope. Finding balance as an overstimulated mom can help you to take some amount of control of the way you feel. 

How to handle being overstimulated

how to find balance as an overstimulated mom
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  1. Get to bed early. Give your mind and body enough time to heal and reset from the sensory overload you are feeling of being an overstimulated mom. 
  1. Set boundaries. You do not have to be everything for everyone at all times. Decide on the people, times and places that seem to bring on your feelings of overstimulation the most and see how you can minimise or change your interaction with those things. 
  1. Wear comfortable clothing. In the midst of any sensory overload from your environment, the last thing you need is to also feel like you wish you could rip your top off because it is too tight. As much as possible wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable so that you can remove at least one element of sensory discomfort. 
  1. Yoga. This will help you to get rid of the excess energy that overstimulation is creating. Like any other form of exercise, yoga contributes towards stress relief and will also help you to sleep better at night.  
  1. Palming. This is where you cover your eyes with your hands and give your eyes a break from all light stimulation. It is especially helpful for me when I feel overstimulated because it is a quick and easy action I can take in the moment. 
  1. Stay off social media. Whether you realize it or not, the amount of information that you get from being on social media can be overwhelming. Useful and useless, it is all coming at you too fast and from several sources and platforms and can be draining. 
  1. Chew gum. The act of chewing will help you to have one thing to focus on when you start to feel overstimulated. 
  1. Guided meditation. I suggest guided meditation rather than trying to meditate without any guidance because when you get into a state of overstimulation, it can be hard to dig your way out of it without help. You can find guided meditation videos online as well as audios that are focused on finding calm. 
  1. Have a safe room or space. I know this is easier said than done when you have children at home. Little kids especially. However, having a space or room that is yours only and objects that you do not want in there are definitely not allowed in is helpful. A space where you can retreat to for even only five minutes can make a big difference to you feeling like you are spinning out of control. This space could be your car. 
  1. Plan out your day. This gives you a larger focus each day. It allows you to concentrate on the bigger picture of what you want your day to turn out like rather than the overstimulating aspects of your day that could make you feel like you are spinning out of control. 

How to help an overstimulated mom

Finding balance as an overstimulated mom can sometimes feel like an impossible mission. If you know any moms struggling with overstimulation, be patient with them. Have no judgement and only seek to help. 

Depending on the kind of relationship you have with an overstimulated mom, you can start by suggesting the above tips for coping to her. 

overstimulated parents
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You can also take a look around her immediate environment and see if you notice anything that could quickly make her feel better. 

For example, is the floor scattered with toys? Do a quick tidy up for her. Are her kids running around screaming? Task them with something to do to give her ears a moment to rest. 

Are you feeling like an overstimulated mom right now? Be comforted that there are a few things you can try to control the feeling. 

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7 Comments

  1. avatar

    I’ve struggled with this since I was a kid. These are some great tips. And I hope more moms read your post. Great article!

  2. avatar

    Awesome post! Loved reading your insight and tips! Thanks for sharing!

  3. avatar

    Really great and timely post. It’s the perfect time to reset and find balance. Great ideas to handle being overstimulated, too.

  4. avatar

    Very informative, I didn’t know about such a thing. This will help moms who are going through this. Will send your article if I know someone has it. Thank you for sharing!

  5. avatar
    Dana says:

    I am an overstimulated mom. I become overwhelmed quickly and can get anxious. I agree that routine and daily grounding activities help. I exercise daily and need a moment to myself at some point in the day. My daughter has a sensory processing disorder, so I know she gets overstimulated, too.

  6. avatar
    Catia says:

    Wow, there are days when I can relate to this SO MUCH! What a great read, thank you!

  7. avatar

    Thank you so much for sharing! As parents we tend to forget that there’s too much on our plates we get overstimulated.

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