I’ve written previously about some of the things that can put a mother down aka drive her crazy! I know I’m not alone in any of the points I expressed there and so I thought I’d put it to other moms to say how they dealt with different things that made them feel like they were losing it in the first few months of mommy life. They gave me some of their first time mum tips for sanity.
Stop saying “sorry” unless you truly need to. We’re programed to say “sorry” all the time. We say “sorry” instead of “I didn’t hear that.” We apologize constantly! Challenge yourself to say thank you instead of sorry whenever possible and see how different it feels. For example, change “Sorry I’m running late” to “thank you for waiting for me.”… Do a “brain dump.” Set a timer for 5 minutes and just write whatever comes to mind. Don’t judge or censor yourself. Don’t read back over it. Rip it up, throw it in the trash, and let it go. Ask for help. You don’t need to be everything and do everything. Ask for help if you need it!
…constant questioning can make a breastfeeding mom question herself…It is your job to protect your partner from badgering that can undermine her confidence.I stopped telling my wife when my mom texted to worry about her exclusive breastfeeding. If someone is talking directly to your partner, kindly but assertively tell them that you need to change the topic of discussion because breastfeeding is non-negotiable for you…
An estimated 10-15% of women develop postpartum depression. It can be severe and have significant consequences for both mother and child, and it can affect anyone. Some risk factors may make ppd more likely, including inadequate social support and/or poor marital relations.
By supporting your partner and taking steps to support her breastfeeding, you can both improve her chances of breastfeeding successfully and help decrease her risk for ppd.
One of the simplest ways to beat stress is to introduce more laughter into your life. As a new mom, try to work on more of this to make the experience less tougher on you. Be around those that make you laugh, watch comedy shows and even fake a laugh- it works wonders on your body and mind.
Drink water. I know you already feel like you are going to pass out from thirst every 2 minutes but the temptation to not bother drinking after you’ve had a baby (especially if you haven’t got someone else to get it for you) is strong when you’ve been up all night. Care for yourself enough to get water and keep a bottle near you at all times!
Clean dishes and clothes are pretty essential but don’t sweat it if you suddenly stop vacuuming every week. People get it! Other things take priority.
But if it really bothers you, get some help. Partner, mum, sister, friend. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most people are happy to feel needed and have a purpose while you adjust in those early weeks, or if you can afford it, hire a cleaner once a week to do those big jobs.
Tiredness/overstimulation and reflux were Lennox’s two principle frustrations and when he was frustrated he gave off cues of being hungry. In all reality, he needed to sleep, or needed to soothe by sucking on his pacifier.
It will take some time to get to know your baby and understand his real signals, but if you think your baby is overstimulated or is experiencing reflux, try the eat, play, sleep method, it can do wonders.
Many a moment I wished away. Stopping to smell the roses was hard, but necessary. I focussed on those snuggles and cuddles, the teeny tiny improvements from one week to the next, the 3 night wakings instead of 5 and that incredible day when we only went through 3 outfits…
I got there and you will too. And you’re really not alone.
Try not to stress toooo much about your baby’s sleep. Your baby is going to do what they want to do, and you cannot control it. I’m a control freak and this was a haaaaaard lesson for me to learn. You cannot control a baby.
It’s completely okay to ask visitors to call before popping by to see the baby. It seemed like every time I fell asleep, some well-intending relative was showing up to see my son.
While I love and appreciate them, it would have been greattttt to get a few minutes’ rest. Stand up for yourself and your needs. <3
Haley of Life with the Lingerfelts
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Plan to accomplish only one or two things a day.It may be as simple as showering and unloading the dishwasher.Or perhaps doing a load of laundry from start to finish.Keep your plans simple and you’ll be much happier at what you accomplished.This one was a hard one for me since I was used to accomplishing a lot during my days.You are still accomplishing a lot but most of that is tied to the care of your baby.
There will be times when you sit on the edge of your bed crying alongside your fussy baby, thinking that you’re just not cut out for this mom thing…But, mama, there will be times when you are holding your little baby in your arms and you can’t help but cry tears of love because you don’t know how you could love a little human so much. Those are tears of gratitude. You feel so utterly blessed that God has trusted YOU this precious gift, don’t you? In these blessed moments, don’t let that voice in that says you are not worthy. Because you are.
These are great , I usually take a breather and speak solely sometimes . Having a toddler has taught me that I will have to repeat myself a thousand times. Gets frustrating
Great tips for moms new and old! I have found that “brain dumps” or mental vomits are very helpful to getting all that extra stuff that is swirling around out of my mind. It often looks like a to do or don’t forget list, but getting it out of my mind and in paper often helps me feel a tad bit lighter for some reason.
Great tips for moms new and old! I have found that “brain dumps” or mental vomits are very helpful to getting all that extra stuff that is swirling around out of my mind. It often looks like a to do or don’t forget list, but getting it out of my mind and in paper often helps me feel a tad bit lighter for some reason.
I can absolutely remember struggling with pretty much everything on this list as a new mom! This is such a great post to encourage other new mamas so they can skip some of the harder emotional hurdles!
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Thanks! Love these great tips! I am for sure going to use some of these!
These are great , I usually take a breather and speak solely sometimes . Having a toddler has taught me that I will have to repeat myself a thousand times. Gets frustrating
Oh my. That’s some really good advice- my little girl’s teaching me that one particular lesson a lot lately
Great tips for moms new and old! I have found that “brain dumps” or mental vomits are very helpful to getting all that extra stuff that is swirling around out of my mind. It often looks like a to do or don’t forget list, but getting it out of my mind and in paper often helps me feel a tad bit lighter for some reason.
Yes, it really does make a difference!
Such a wonderful list of suggestions. I love the brain dump method for emotional support!
Great tips for moms new and old! I have found that “brain dumps” or mental vomits are very helpful to getting all that extra stuff that is swirling around out of my mind. It often looks like a to do or don’t forget list, but getting it out of my mind and in paper often helps me feel a tad bit lighter for some reason.
Love these ideas… especially the brain bump… sometimes its good to get out of your head.
Yes it seems to be something that moms can really relate to. It’s so easy for us to get bogged down by the minutiae of each day.
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These are great tips! It’s easy to forget about yourself when you have this amazing new life to look after!
I can absolutely remember struggling with pretty much everything on this list as a new mom! This is such a great post to encourage other new mamas so they can skip some of the harder emotional hurdles!
These are awesome tips!!! Totally helpful for new moms, so many of these helped me a lot when I had my new babe.
Wow I wish I had this list when I was a new mom! I love the brain dump idea!
These tips are so helpful and dead on. I love the brain dumb idea. Thanks for sharing!
These are great tips from moms to new moms. Thanks for sharing this post.
Great post and tips that I will definitely remember1 Hopefully I’ll be a mom soon enough!