How to be a happy stay-at-home mom

Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) is not an easy job. And yes, it is a job. It can be lonely, a rollercoaster of emotions, phyiscally and mentally exhausting. It can also be a beautiful experience that both yourself and your family will cherish and be grateful for in many years to come. Yet, there are moms who may be about to become SAHMs who will be wondering how to be a happy stay-at-home mom.

Some moms choose to become stay at home moms because they afford to while others do it because they cannot afford not to. Whichever way it happens for you, just know that your new role is necessary and valuable. Knowing the importance of your role will help you to be a happy stay-at-home mom.

The importance of being a stay at home mom

The points below will be helpful in finding purpose as a stay at home mom. 

• Stronger bond with your children

You are seeing your children more than before if you were a working mom previously. You have the opportunity to be more intentional with not just seeing them but also spending quality time with them. Making the effort to get to know them deeply can only enforce your existing bond and make you feel closer to each other.

• More oversight 

Staying home with your children means that you have to make less of an effort to be conscious of how they are getting on in different aspects of their lives. You can watch their development more closely and see where adjustments need to be made. Whether it is their moral, emotional or physical development, you have the opportunity to track them more easily. 

• Chance to cherish your kids’ childhoods

So many moms have said to me, “They’re only little once. Enjoy it while it lasts”. I try to remember that. It’s so true. They’re so precious when they’re small and you just want to bottle up all the cuddles and firsts that you experience with them. Being a stay at home mom means that you not only experience all the stresses that come with mom life all day long, but you also get to enjoy the fun, cute parts of mommy life as well. Particularly when they are small children, you can catch your kids’ first steps, first word, first day of school and all those other special moments and days. 

• More control over family routines

You can at least attempt to establish the exact routines that you would like for your day. As a stay at home mom, once those routines are established you watchfully assess them to make sure they are working for everyone in the family. If not, you have better control over adjusting them as you see fit. 

You will want to read this too: How to be a successful stay at home mom

What do stay at home moms do all day?

There may be nothing worse for a tired SAHM than for someone to ask, “What have you been doing all day?” No matter how well-meaning the question may be, hearing it at the end of yet another exhausting day could feel like the last straw. 

READ: Signs that you need a mommy break!

Unfortunately, that question and others similar to it can come not just from your own husband or partner but also from strangers, family and friends. You’ll be pleased to know that you don’t owe an explanation of your SAHM-ability to anyone. If they really want to know a VERY brief summary of the zillions of activities you could be up to each day, direct them to this list:

1. Paying the bills
2. Working from home
3. Potty training
4. Loading and unloading the washing machine
5. Folding laundry
6. Craving a nap
7. Vacuuming and mopping
8. Cooking and baking
9. Playing with baby or toddler (often repeated, seemingly mindless games)
10. Doing school drop offs and pickups
11. Tending to a sick child (often overnight as well)
12. Going through and over school work
13. Dish washing
14. Loading and unloading the dishwasher
15. Reading a book
16. Meal planning
17. Changing and dressing babies and toddlers

Are stay at home moms happier?

This would be tough to answer without speaking to every single mom alive and who has ever lived! For all the reasons mentioned above, stay at home moms may say they are happier. At the same time, working moms who have chosen to work because they want to would say that they are happier as working leaves them feeling fulfilled. Whether you are a happy stay-at-home mom or not compared to any other working mom depends on your personal circumstances.

So how do you find happiness as a stay at home mom?

Ways to find happiness as a stay at home mom

This will differ with each SAHM but I would say that routine, goal setting, blessing-counting and finding people who can relate are the biggest ways to feel happiness each day. 

Create a routine

Knowing what is coming up for each day and being aware of how you are going to go about completing your daily tasks provides you with the motivation you need. Feeling motivated on a daily basis gives you a unique sense of happiness. 

Goal-setting

Whether this be setting goals to achiev your daily tasks or setting big goals for future dates also motivates you to get out of bed each day. Having something to look forward to each day is one of the greatest ways to feel a sense of happiness. Yes, once any of your goals is met, the feeling of achievement can only create more happiness but simply working towards a feasible goal is enough to make you feel happy. 

Count your blessings

The routine of mom-life can make you forget to stop and recognize how well you’re doing and all that you’ve achieved. You might even forget to stop and truly absorb how much you do have rather than what you don’t yet have. Taking the time frequently to stop and smell the roses of your life (counting your blessings) will give you the happiness (real joy) that you want. 

Finding people who can relate

Getting to know other stay at home moms is a great way to become and remain a happy stay-at-home mom yourself. In your discussions, you find similarities in your lives that make you realize that none of your difficulties are unique. You can also come up with solutions together or learn from each other how to improve various aspects of your lives as SAHMs. Socializing with other stay at home moms is also healthy mentally as stay at home mom depression is real.

What are your thoughts on being a stay at home mom? How do you find purpose as a stay at home mom?

If you are considering becoming a SAHM mom, what are your biggest  considerations?