When meeting parents for the first time, it is important to make sure that you are making a good first impression. Those last forever. It is very hard to erase a bad first impression. As part of making a great and lasting first impression, decide on what to talk about when meeting parents for the first time.

Conversation topics for meeting parents for the first time are vital because you want to ensure that you are not coming off as:

1. Boring
2. Inappropriate or 
3. Self-absorbed 

Before we get to that, if you are about to meet your partner’s parents for the first time, you might be wondering whether this is even the right time.

How long should you date before meeting parents?

There is no official time span for dating before meeting your partner’s parents. However, if you have been together for a couple of weeks and he is already ushering you into his parents’ home, you might indeed be jumping the gun a bit.

Having said that, some people move faster than others and there are a ton of stories of people who were only together for days before getting married and staying married for decades after.

Conversely, if you have been dating for five years, for example, and your partner has not taken you to meet his parents, there is likely to be a different kind of problem. Do they not know about you yet? If not, why don’t they? Meeting your partner’s parents often says a lot about what you mean to your partner.

RELATED: Gifts for Meeting his Parents

Is meeting the parents a big step?

In a word, yes. Meeting the parents is always a big step because it shows that your partner is happy to share his relationship with his family. This is a big deal for a lot of people. It might signal that he sees you as a permanent fixture in his life.

It could also be that he is using the opportunity to get his family to vet you. That also means that he intends to be very serious with you.

For other people, however, it might not be that big of a deal to introduce their partner to their parents. This might be something that they always do as a matter of course. Their family’s approval or disapproval of you might not make much difference to their involvement with you.

Regardless of what the reason is that your partner finally introduces you to his parents, it is perfectly normal for you to be nervous about the meeting.

How do you not get nervous when meeting parents?

The best way to minimize nerves when meeting parents for the first time is to be fully prepared without being over-prepared. Prepare yourself for the meeting (and you are in the right place for that now) but do not get so worked up preparing yourself that you start to over-think things.

For example, make sure you are wearing the right outfit but do not spend weeks leading up to the day just searching for the right clothes. I go into detail on what to wear to meet the parents in the link below.

READ: What to wear to meet the parents

What to talk about when meeting parents for the first time

Are you not that great at small talk? Do you want to be sure to make a good impression on your partner’s parents the first time around? Any of these conversation topics would be a good idea.

1. How good the food is

Are you meeting his parents for a meal in their home? Talk about how amazing the food is. Ask for the recipe if you get friendly enough vibes from them. 

If you are meeting at a restaurant, feel free to talk about how much you are enjoying the food there too. Compare it to another great meal you have had at another restaurant and recommend they try that restaurant too.

Not enjoying the meal at the restaurant? Please do not go on about how much you dislike the food. Do not present yourself as a complainer. Maybe point out some positives about the restaurant instead.

2. Local events

These are good conversation starters as they are likely to be at least vaguely aware of events going on in their area. They may be planning to attend these events themselves which means that they are centered around things that they are interested in. If, for example, there is a jazz festival in their city that you have learned about, you can bring it up in conversation as something that you would be interested in going to as well.

From that, you can move the conversation on to what kind of music they are into. This also gives you the chance to learn more about them.

3. A recent book you have read or movie you have watched

This gives you the chance to shine as someone who has intriguing extracurricular interests. Talk to them about a book you are reading or a movie you have watched that you think they might enjoy too for one reason or the other. This gives them the understanding that their son has brought an intelligent and hopefully broad-thinking individual to meet them.

4. What you like about their home

Are you meeting the parents in their home? You can use the house itself as a conversation topic to start with. Compliment them on the things about their home that you love.

Be honest as if you lie, it will be evident and they will decide that you are not a genuine person. If you cannot find anything about their home that you like, please do not bother to say anything – talk about something else.

5. Their careers

Show genuine interest in their jobs or careers thus far. Ask what they do or did and see if there are any commonalities between their careers and yours or the career that you are aiming for. If they work in fields that you are aiming for yourself, you can ask them for advice or ask them how they got to where they did.

6. Your partner’s siblings or cousins

There is a high likelihood that if you have been with your partner for long enough, he has spoken to you about his sibling(s) and or other family members before. If he has told you any interesting stories about them that you can discuss in front of his parents, bring some of those up and ask for their take on those stories.

Do they remember those stories the same way that he does? Are his siblings a lot like him? How are they different from each other?

7. Photographs on display around the house

This is an easy and hopefully obvious one. Pass by any photos you see in their home and whether your partner is in them or not, you can ask questions about them. Those photos are up because his parents are excited to share the stories behind them. Be excited to listen to those stories. Paying attention will be important for the next time you meet them.

8. Their hobbies

If you are wondering what to talk about when meeting the parents, I think it is important to repeat: do not stress over this meeting. Enjoy the meeting. You are getting to know them just as much as they are getting to know you.

A good way to know about them in a relaxed manner is to ask them about their hobbies. Ask what they like to do in their free time. Do they do those things together or individually?

9. Their childhoods

This helps you to delve even deeper into them as individuals but it can also lead to getting insights into why your partner is the way he is. Learning about his parents’ upbringing teaches you why they brought up their own child(ren) the way they did.

10. Their love story or how they met

This is a sweet conversation topic. Again, it shows that you have a genuine interest in them as a couple and also in knowing more about how your partner came to be.

11. Family memories

Give them the chance to share memories made by the whole family. It opens up the opportunity for his parents and him as well to talk more and you can relax and listen and probably laugh from listening to some funny stories too. 

It is good to show an interest in the whole family so that they know that you care about them all because you care about your partner.

12. Your partner

Be sure to leave them with the assurance that you love their child and have his best interests at heart. This can be done in a straightforward manner by saying so in conversation or you can speak about those qualities of his that you appreciate the most.

Do not stress too much about what to talk about when meeting parents for the first time. Have the best expectations of yourself for this meeting. If you’re wondering what to talk about when meeting the parents, then it means that you are already invested enough in your partner to prepare for that meeting and your deep interest will be evident to them regardless of what goes on during the meeting. 

Are you writing up a list of what to talk about when meeting parents for the first time?