Are you here because you are pregnant and have a seemingly clueless husband? You are in the right place. This is what your husband needs to read in order to know how to support you emotionally. Or are you that truly clueless husband whose wife is pregnant and who is wondering how to treat her? Welcome. You need to be here. Let’s talk about how to support your pregnant wife. Particularly emotionally and mentally.
Before we dive in, you should know what not to do. You can start with the following eleven points.
>> READ: 11 Common Pregnancy Symptoms at 9 weeks and how to find relief from them
11 Things you absolutely cannot do when your wife is pregnant
- Choose your friends over her. It will never be alright. She will always appreciate your company and is likely to resent you for choosing to spend five hours at a friend’s house instead of at home with her.
- Talk about missing nights out on the town. If you’re “sacrificing” your nights out on the town to be more present for your pregnant wife, there’s no need to make a big deal out of it. Don’t remind her of that all the time. Just do it.
- Think that a bit of help here and there means that she should not require anything of you. What you think is more than enough help might not be quite enough for her. If your wife needs more help because she is physically unable to do various things herself due to the pregnancy, she needs to be able to ask.
- Badger her for sex. Your wife’s libido may be low at some points in her pregnancy. And then even when it is not low, she may just physically be unable to do anything no matter how badly either of you want to. Let her take the lead on this one. It is not a permanent situation. It won’t last forever. Badgering her for sex will only make her tired and make you look like seriously lack empathy.
- Pretend to be unaware of what needs to be done around the house. It’s true. Pretending not to see or notice the chores that need doing might force her to have to do them herself. Especially if she’s tired of having to ask you for help. But don’t do it if you want to support your pregnant wife. She’ll never forget it.
- Pretend to be unconscious of her pregnancy symptoms. Similarly, turning a blind eye to how ill she might be feeling will not take away any of her symptoms. Pretending that she is feeling great will not make her feel great. Acknowledge any discomfort and pain and see what you can do to make her more comfortable.
- Break your promises. When you promise her that you will do something, try to make sure that you do it. Breaking your promises in these times when she is so hormonal may make her feel more disappointed in you at this time than at any other time.
- Be inconsistent. Once you commit to doing something for her or around the house, for example, be consistent. Do not help out sometimes and other times not. If you commit to giving her a massage every evening before bed, make sure you do it. Do not make her have to ask.
- Take anything to heart. Husbands, you might be wondering why your pregnant wife is so mean to you. Support your pregnant wife by becoming as tough as possible. Where it matters. Throughout her pregnancy, do not take anything personally. Assume that none of her mood swings or bouts of bad temper are about you, even if they seem to be directed at you.
- Continuously comment on her weight gain. Some weight gain is natural for the vast majority of pregnant women. She is growing a human, for goodness sake. Cut her some slack. She is carrying not just baby weight, but also placenta and all sorts of other fluid weight.
- Comment on how much she’s eating. All that weight will require some extra energy. It should not surprise you if she does seem to be eating a little more than she was pre-pregnancy. If you notice that her food intake is getting out of hand, be sensitive about how you bring it up. Don’t make her feel bad for every single meal you
catchsee her eating.
Now that we have covered what you should not do if you want to support your pregnant wife, we can move on to what you should do.
>>READ: How to be the best husband to a breastfeeding wife
How do you make a pregnant woman happy?
- Talk to the baby in her belly. When your wife is expecting, you can expect to see her start to form a bond with the baby very early on in the pregnancy. Don’t be shy to try to forge your own bond with the baby too. You can do this by speaking to the baby in her belly often. Your wife will enjoy this too and will love you for it.
- Show interest in the physical changes she goes through. There will be something new every week or so that will happen to her body. It’s the kind of thing that she would love to share with you. Who else would she share it with? Show interest. It really is all interesting!
- Ask lots of questions at doctors appointments. It is alright to be clueless. There is a lot that your pregnant wife might not know either – both about pregnancy and babies. She will probably be learning something new every day even if this is not your first baby. Ask as many questions as you need to in order to make sure you are as ready for the baby’s arrival as you can be.
- Laundry, cooking, shopping. 50/50 is not an appropriate split for household chores when your wife is pregnant. There will be some point in the pregnancy where these might become very difficult for her to do. Step up and do any of these three and more! Keep in mind that she won’t be in this state forever. Help out wherever you can. She will notice and forever be very appreciative of it.
- Neck, shoulder, back and feet massages. This one depends on whether you are good at giving massages. If you know you are not, and will instead be inflicting pain, of course don’t do it. If you can afford to, you can book her a prenatal massage instead. If you can do these effectively though, they provide sweet daily relief from both pain and tension and will make her very happy.
- Let her sleep in. Pregnant women require lots of sleep and rest because their bodies are doing so much work. Your pregnant wife will feel very supported if you let her have a lie-in frequently. She needs all the rest she can get.
- Always be ready to provide hugs in down moments. Sometimes, your wife just wants to be held. She will appreciate it if you can recognize those moments and you take the time to just hold her and listen to her if you need to.
These are just a few of the things you can do to make your pregnant wife feel supported. They will stand out to her and show her that you care and want to be there for her.
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