Wondering how to make your older child or children feel important while you’re during pregnancy? In this article, we will look at some of the ways that you can make sure that your older child doesn’t feel left out while you’re pregnant.
You can make your older children feel involved in the pregnancy and ensure that they also establish a connection to your baby in pregnancy.
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If you’re pregnant and you think your older child or children have changed in behaviour, you might be right. It is possible that even without telling them, they know that a big change is coming.
Can toddlers sense when a baby is coming?
Yes, toddlers can often sense when a baby is coming. Especially as they observe changes in their environment and routine even if they don’t fully understand what those changes mean. Toddlers are keen observers and can pick up on subtle cues, such as changes in a parent’s physical appearance, alterations in the home to accommodate the new baby and even shifts in family dynamics as everyone prepares for the arrival.
Do toddlers become more attached when mom is pregnant?
Yes, toddlers can become more attached to their mothers during pregnancy. This increased attachment often stems from sensing the upcoming changes and possibly feeling uncertain about their place in the family once the new baby arrives. Toddlers might exhibit clingier behavior, seek more attention or even regress in some developmental milestones as a way to express their need for reassurance.
How does my pregnancy affect my toddler?
Your pregnancy can affect your toddler in several noticeable ways, as it introduces significant changes to their environment and family dynamics. Toddlers might not fully understand what it means to welcome a new sibling but they can sense changes and may react in various ways. These reactions can include showing signs of jealousy, seeking more attention, displaying regressive behaviors (such as wanting a bottle again or wetting the bed after being potty-trained) or becoming more clingy.
These behaviors are normal and reflect your toddler’s attempt to cope with the changes and ensure their place in your affection and attention remains secure. It’s a critical time to reinforce your bond with them and make an older child feel important. This can be achieved by spending quality one-on-one time with them, involving them in preparations for the new baby in age-appropriate ways, and constantly reassuring them of your love and how important they are to you and the family.
By recognizing their needs and addressing them thoughtfully, you can help your toddler(s) adjust more smoothly to the idea of a new sibling and see this time as an opportunity to encourage a positive relationship between them.
How can I bond with my older child during pregnancy?
Bonding with your older child during pregnancy is crucial for maintaining a strong connection and helping them adjust to the idea of a new sibling. Here are several ways to make sure your older child feels included, loved and important throughout this significant change.
1. Involve them in pregnancy
Allow your older child to be part of the pregnancy journey. Let them attend ultrasound appointments if possible, or show them pictures and explain how the baby is growing. This involvement helps them feel connected to the baby early on.
2. Special one-on-one time
Dedicate specific times to spend solely with your older child, doing activities they enjoy. Whether it’s reading together, playing at the park or a weekly date where they choose the activity, this can significantly make an older child feel important and cherished.
3. Involve them in preparations
Engage your older child in preparing for the new baby. They can help pick out clothes, toys or even help set up the nursery. Giving them a role in these preparations shows that their input and help are valued.
4. Encourage expression
Talk about the new baby often and encourage your older child to express their feelings — both positive and negative — about the new sibling coming. Acknowledge their feelings, offer reassurance and discuss the fun and positive aspects of having a sibling.
5. Create a sibling bond early
Push for a connection between your older child and the baby by encouraging them to talk or sing to your belly. Feeling the baby kick can also be an exciting way for them to bond before the baby is born.
6. Gift from the baby
Consider giving your older child a special gift from the new baby when they meet for the first time. This gesture can promote a positive start to their sibling relationship.
7. Reassurance of love
Repeatedly reassure your older child of your unconditional love for them. Emphasize that the arrival of a new sibling doesn’t change your love for them but rather expands the amount of love in the family.
8. Crafting for the baby
Engage in crafting projects together that focus on making something special for the new baby, like decorating onesies, making a simple baby blanket, or drawing pictures for the baby’s room. This not only serves as quality time together but also allows your older child to contribute something personal to the baby’s arrival.
9. Reading sibling books
Select books that are specifically about becoming an older sibling. Reading these stories together can help your child understand their new role, address common concerns, and make them excited about the baby’s arrival. It’s a gentle way to introduce them to the concepts of sharing, caring and loving a new sibling.
10. Sibling classes
Some hospitals offer sibling classes designed for soon-to-be brothers and sisters. These classes can prepare your older child for the baby’s arrival by teaching them about newborns, how to safely interact with babies and what changes they might expect at home.
11. Decorate a “Big brother/Big sister” shirt together
Buy a plain T-shirt and fabric markers or paints and decorate a shirt with them that proudly announces their new status as a big brother or sister. Wearing it can make them feel proud and excited about their upcoming role.
12. Special responsibilities
Assign your older child special responsibilities that they can perform once the baby arrives, making them feel important. This could be as simple as being the designated “diaper fetcher,” singing songs to soothe the baby or helping pick out the baby’s outfits.
13. Create a countdown calendar
Build anticipation and understanding of the baby’s arrival by creating a countdown calendar with your older child. Mark off important dates such as doctor’s appointments, the baby shower, and the due date. This can help them visually understand when the baby will join the family.
14. Have a “Big sibling” party
Celebrate your older child’s new status by throwing a “Big sibling” party. This can be a small family gathering or a bigger event with friends, emphasizing how special and loved your older child is before the baby’s arrival.
15. Memory book creation
Together with your older child, create a memory book of their life before the baby arrives. Include photos, drawings, and stories about them as an only child or as the younger sibling up until this point. This project not only serves as quality bonding time but also reassures them of their unique place in the family.
16. “Big sibling” toolkit
Assemble a “Big sibling” toolkit with items they might need to help take care of the new baby, such as a small apron, plastic bottles for pretend feeding, a baby doll to practice gentle touches, and children’s books about being a big sibling. This can help them feel prepared and excited about their new role.
17. Visit from the stork
Organize a special “visit from the stork” for your older child. This could involve receiving a special delivery package or letter addressed to them from the stork, telling them how important and needed they are as a big sibling. Inside, you can include a new book, a toy or a special “big sibling” certificate.
18. Interactive baby development updates
Turn weekly or monthly baby development updates into a fun and interactive activity. Use fruit or vegetables to represent the baby’s size each week and involve your older child in finding or drawing the item. This can help them visualize the baby’s growth and get excited about the progress.
19. Special day out
Plan a special day out just with your older child to celebrate their role in the family. Let them choose the activities or places they want to visit. During the day, talk to them about their feelings and thoughts on becoming a big sibling, ensuring they feel heard and supported.
20. Cooking for mom
Involve your older child in preparing simple meals or snacks for you, especially if there are certain foods you crave during pregnancy. This can be a playful way to spend time together while teaching them about caring for others.
21. Baby’s heartbeat
If possible, during one of your prenatal appointments, let your older child listen to the baby’s heartbeat. This magical experience can create a profound connection between them and the baby early on.
These activities are designed not only to keep your older child engaged during your pregnancy but also to deepen their understanding and excitement about their new sibling.
You can help your older child to deal with the changes that come with a new sibling, making sure that they feel secure, loved and an integral part of the family dynamic.
Which of the above will you be trying in order to make your older child feel connected to your baby during pregnancy?
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2 Comments
There are so many great tips for moms to help their toddlers welcome a new baby. I love the tip to give the older child a special gift from the new baby.
Great tips! I did a lot of these when I was pregnant. I wanted to make sure that my son felt included. It would help him be excited about their sibling on the way.