13 Quick & Easy Tips for when you are combating mom fatigue

Everyone knows what it is like to feel so tired that you could literally just sleep for a day. Or two. For moms, that feeling of tiredness is the same. Except that it is worse because most of the time, there is no opportunity to sleep for a full day. Or even for two extra seconds. For moms with newborns, there might be no opportunity to sleep at all! The build up of mom fatigue is a real phenomenon that, for some moms, has lifelong effects. 

Is it normal to be exhausted as a parent?

Of course. It is normal to be exhausted as a parent. Many first time parents are surprised by the levels of exhaustion that it is possible to hit when taking care of babies. A lot of that has to do with sleep deprivation. 

RELATED: Sleep deprivation and motherhood

Mom fatigue is probably first encountered at the newborn stage when moms have to be up all night breastfeeding or bottle-feeding their babies. 

You are highly susceptible to experiencing parental burnout if:

• Your partner is unable or unwilling to support you in daily activities
• You already dealt with depression and anxiety before you became a parent
• You are experiencing financial difficulties
• You have no support system
• You are a perfectionist
• You are quick to compare yourself to others
• Your partner has high (and unrealistic) expectations of you
• You have very young kids

However, even as kids get older, parenting can be draining at each stage. The amount of activity that can be involved in meeting children’s needs at all stages can be tiring, even if they also bring you joy. The feeling of being exhausted as a parent is one that many people would find it diffcult to relate to.

How parental burnout feels

Parental burnout is the feeling, to put it simply, of being emotionally, physically and mentally tapped out as a parent! Some of the easy ways to identify that you are experiencing burnout as a parent are: 

1. You do not remember the last time that you were not tired
2. Everything annoys you
3. You do not enjoy being around your partner and kids
4. You feel like you are walking around in a haze
5. Your family and friends notice that there is a marked difference in your attitude

Find some more signs of parental burnout or mom fatigue here: 17 Real Signs that Mommy needs a Break

3 Ways that moms can get more energy

1. Exercise. Getting those endorphins going can do wonders mentally but exercise also has its obvious physical benefits. Try exercises like yoga and pilates for a more calm type of energy.

READ: A Simple Yoga Routine for Moms 

2. Diet. There are many foods you can add to your diet to boost your energy levels. Whole grains, fruits and vegetables all go towards giving your body the healthy fuel that it needs. In general, complex carbs give the fuel one needs and they last the longest.

3. Sleep. Now, if you are battling mom fatigue or parental burnout, then this will probably be the most difficult for you to achieve. Yet, getting good quality and sufficient sleep is one of the most important tips for exhausted moms who need more energy. 

Okay. So you know the top three most important ways to get more energy as an exhausted parent. But how do you parent when you are exhausted and have not yet managed to get the above three factors under control?

13 Tips on how to parent when you are exhausted

Can you be a good parent when you are tired? Yes, you can be the best possible version of yourself in that moment for your kids. You can implement the following tips to help you achieve that. 

1. Say a quick prayer. Ask God for help to get you through the day despite how exhausted you feel. The simple act of praying about it provides an amount of peace that you would not expect. 
2. Get an early night together. Aim to try to get all of you in bed earlier than usual. Your kids probably need the rest almost as much as you do even though you do not realize it.
3. Set them an activity. Something that is fun and will keep them occupied for a while. It is important that this activity is one you know they can handle on their own. They should not need your help for it.

READ: FREE Printable Colouring pages for kids

4. Find a sitter. When you are tired of being a parent, if you can afford it, pay for some help. Even if it is only for one hour a week so that you can get some quality sleep.
5. Take a ten-count deep breath pause. Never underestimate the power of taking in oxygen. Deep breaths are often overlooked as a calming technique. Intentional breathing, in general, is frequently forgotten as a great way to focus as well as relax.
6. Set strict bedtime rules. No matter how hectic your day gets, knowing that the kids will be in bed at a specific time helps you to get through the day. You know that after a certain time each evening, you can get that rest that you need. 
7. Self-care. This is always easier said than done especially when you have little children but there are small steps you can take each day that will cumulatively make you feel better over a period of time or be a quick fix for feeling tired each day. 

READ: Viable tips for self-care when your kids are around

8. Talk yourself up. Positive self-talk is another highly undervalued but very important tool that anyone experiencing mom fatigue or parental burnout should be implementing. We, as human beings, are good at putting ourselves down mentally and can also be good at encouraging others. However, we need to learn to encourage ourselves as well. On especially tiring days as parents, giving yourself a motivational talk can be all you need to help you push through the day. This technique is especially important for any emotionally exhausted mom.
9. Hand over to your spouse. If you have a spouse or partner whom you live and parent with, do not be afraid to get them to help you where you think you need it and if they are able to. You do not have to do this alone if you do not have to. Ask for them to step in where you think you are too exhausted to be useful.
10. Dedicate 15-30mins to them. Let your kids have a chunk of your undivided time and they will be more willing to let you have a breather or a break from constantly attending to them. This is a good technique to use when, for example, you have a toddler who is calling for you for 100 different reasons in the space of 5 minutes!
11. Schedule a playdate. Take some of the burden off yourself by sharing it with another parent. 
12. Give yourself a timeout. If you feel you have reached your breaking point with your kids at any point, go into a room on your own (after making sure they will be safe for around 10 minutes) and just separate yourself from them for a while. You may need to just breathe or call someone to vent to. 
13. Change up your routine. Have you considered that your routine with your kids may just not be working for you? Perhaps it is time to change it up a bit. Let me give you an example. Maybe instead of dinner right after they get home from school and a shower after that, they should jump in the shower first instead which gives you a little more time to get dinner ready.

Changing up your routine is of course a trial and error thing. That is the case with a lot of things to do with kids anyway. It is never completely easy.

Does parenting ever get easier?

No, I do not believe that parenting ever gets easier. However, being a parent does have a lot of ups and downs and we do ourselves a favour when we focus on the ups. Celebrating our wins, no matter how small, can serve to energize and motivate us as parents. 

Parenting does not get easier but it can become more and more rewarding, I believe, as our kids get older and make us more proud with each passing day. Not by their accomplishments (although those are pretty sweet to see!) but simply because they are our children.

What are some tricks that you have used when experiencing mom fatigue or parental burnout?